Go on – ‘fess up’

Have you ever been in a space where you are conscious there is something that is not sitting right with you  in your head or your heart? You may know what it is, or you may not.

One of our basic needs as People is to connect with others. This can be on many levels; to like and be liked, to love and be loved, to respect and be respected to name a few, and more often than not, it’s the relationships that aren’t working in our lives that niggle away in our subconscious and cause us the most grief.

It’s so easy to blame the other person for causing this upset, they are the one who are difficult, don’t listen, are know-alls or just pain rude, but is this really the case?

I know if I am feeling angry, upset, mad or frustrated, it works best when I can go inwards, think on the REAL reasons I am upset and face the facts.  > 90% of the time it’s MY expectations, MY beliefs, MY values and MY issues that are in the way and causing the upset.  The fact the other person is wearing my angst is not their fault.

It’s much easier to blame others than dig deeper and realise that the other person doesn’t really have a chance because I’m expecting them to meet MY needs, fulfil MY expectations and do what I want them to do, all usually without me having discussed these with them in the first place.

So, if you are the same, take your courage in both hands, realise where you have let yourself and them down. “Fess up to your part in causing the upset, tell them what you were expecting and apologise for making them wear it. Once this is cleared away, both parties can reach a common understanding, get mutual agreement and you can both or all sleep better at night without that niggle. Go on, I dare you:  be brave, authentic and get real.

PS: Try it for both home and work life J.

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